Oval, white and moist background. Sometimes patterned with red zigzag lines. Black, round, squiggly thing bang in the middle, or in some unfortunate cases, somewhere to the side. Shift your gaze a little to the side and there’s some wet red exposed skin there. The unfortunate cases will need to shift their gaze elsewhere, I suppose. Anyway, so it’s not even a wound, it’s just how it is – red, exposed flesh. Look around a little more and there’s weird hair emerging from right next to the exposed flesh.
That’s how it looks when you go close enough to the mirror. People, it’s time to look yourself in the eye and face the truth: Eyes look hideous.
The truth is that ‘beautiful eyes’ is just a myth, a decoy invented by men to compliment women without sounding indecent. There is the unimaginative “You have beautiful eyes”. But there are many more ridiculous eye-related compliments, particularly in India, where women’s eyes are compared to a deer’s eyes, or to fish, or other likenesses in the fauna. Being animals themselves, men could get only this far.
And yet these compliments work! Thank god and thank those poets who thought this up, because I really don’t think we would’ve got beyond Adam (or Abraham’s family at the most), had men been honest with their compliments. Imagine:
(Adam meets Eve)
Adam: Err.. duh..hee hee
Eve: Excuse me?
Adam: You have beautiful !@#$%^. Just like a cow’s
Eve: That’s the end of our race, Adam.
(Adam loses race).
